he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
