And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
