it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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