mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk is a universal language darling
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
