you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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