i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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