i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
