Swine flu. Run for my life!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
