There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize