remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
