P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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