watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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