I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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