thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
