she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
