and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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