Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize