It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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