and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
