I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
