then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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