and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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