I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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