he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
