Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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