Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
