You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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