i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
