discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
