Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
