Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
