i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
