I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
