I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
