It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
