She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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