do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
