Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
