i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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