im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
