hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Watching her eat just hurts me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
