Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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