Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
