he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
