Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
