my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
