I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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