Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
