apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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