Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
