i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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