I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
