we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
