whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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