Too much gin, very little bucket
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
