So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
