Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
