Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
