Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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