Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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