whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
