Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
